![]() ![]() I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags, he's bisatchel.Ĥ1. You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic converter.Ĥ2. He slides up to the bar and announces: 'I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.'Ĥ3. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. I tried water polo but my horse drowned.Ĥ4. I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was Wedgie Kray.Ĥ6. Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.Ĥ7. I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'. He held the record until May 2005 when Australian comedian, Anthony Lehmann squeezed in 549 gags The Top 50:ĥ0. #Great jokes for dinner parties full#'Being able to tell a joke is a fine art and telling a classic joke correctly in a pub full of people can be tricky.'Ĭomedian Tim Vine smashed the world record for most jokes told in an hour with 499, beating the previous record of 362. 'Tim Vine's Edinburgh Fringe Festival's joke is neither belly-laughing funny nor is it particularly shocking or controversial so it's surprising it was voted the best joke of the festival. 'Many of the jokes in the list are fairly timeless and will still be making people chuckle in thirty years or more.'' 'It's nice to see jokes from the greats like Tommy Cooper and Les Dawson are still up there and the ugly baby tale is a worthy winner.' I'll tell you what, never again.' The joke was later slammed as 'unfunny' on web forums.Ī spokesman for the organisation behind the research, said: 'The majority of these jokes are clean and genuinely funny - but a lot are pretty subjective and what one person finds hilarious, someone else may not.' His winning one-liner was: 'I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. The study was carried out after a panel of eight comic critics voted the holiday joke by Tim Vine (brother of TV presenter Jeremy Vine) the best of this year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival. It also features risqué jokes about religion, anorexia - and animal cruelty. #Great jokes for dinner parties driver#She says to a man next to her: 'The driver just insulted me!' The man says: 'You go up there and tell him off. The bus driver says: 'Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. ![]() 'I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.'ġ. We have listed the entire Top 50 one-liners below, but for quickfire comedians in a hurry here are the top three:Ģ.
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